Life changing moments

21/12/2010 by Lee.

Once in a while, a moment comes along where you know life will never be the same again. There’s a very clear then and now. There was life before that time, and a seemingly different life after it.

8:06 am on Sunday 19 December 2010 was my moment.

This was the time I took the phone call to tell me my father-in-law had died. Hundreds of thoughts collide at once, especially as my wife wasn’t home at the time. How? When? Where? Does my wife know? The last few days have frankly been a bit of a blur. There was the awful moment of having to break the news, the phone-calls,  the paperwork, the tears but none of that compares to the sheer feeling of impotence and helplessness. I have never in my life felt so devoid of the ability to help, to change things, to take things away; to make it better.I know that time is a healer, but that feels hard to believe right now. He was a great man. Kind and generous to a fault and I have many happy memories of him. There are many things I can recall to make me smile and I know that as time passes, these will be a comfort to me and all he touched.

I know he was surrounded by family that loved him dearly and was immensely proud of his son & daughter. He got to see them both happily married, and he had a fantastic adopted family across the globe that all loved their “Grandad Alan.” It’s still very raw for me. No matter how hard I try and be strong, there are always tears close by and they’re tears for two. First for the passing of the man, and secondly for the pain and suffering that I can see my wife going through.

I just wish it was still 8:05

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